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So even though my brother and I have come from the same father (don’t even get me

started about dads), we have very different friends lists on Facebook. I get nosy some-

times and look into the lives of the RU-CRAZY.COM fans, then I think to myself, these

chicks are really crazy.com! So today, I’m going to give you a top ten list based on WHY

YOU WILL BE POOR FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

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10. You have a criminal record. Do I even need to explain this one? Why a female has a

record perplexes me. Now, I’ve done some stuff in my day that I can never admit to…

BUT I’VE NEVER BEEN CAUGHT! Ladies do not go to jail, SORRY! You have to be more

clever! How will you ever get a good job with a possession or shoplifting charge?

9. You have a neck tattoo. Now, you DO know that you will NEVER be accepted in corpor-

ate America with a tattoo on your neck. Sooooo you will work at WalMart or City Blue

forever. Neck tattoos are scary. What if the needle nicked your jugular vein? That’s what

your potential employer is thinking before they throw your application in the trash.

8. You smoke weed. Now, maybe I’m getting old, but I think weed smoking is played out.

It affects your short term memory. So eventually when someone asks you a question….

YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO GIVE A SMART ANSWER! Plus, it turns your lips black and

stains your fingertips. So after your potential employer stops staring at your neck tattoo,

he’ll look at your lips and fingertips and regret taking the time to even meet with you.

7. You have your pics on Facebook available for EVERYONE to view. WHY? That ain’t

cute! You’re posing with a blunt! Is that cool? Seriously, please inbox me and let me know

what you do for a living.

6. Your name cannot be pronounced by most Americans. Now, I know that we like to be

original, but what is up with the names that you make up? I have employees and I’m

going to tell you that if you want a white collar job, you’re going to have to go from

Chanikashy Smith to C. Michelle Smith. Just trust me on this one.

5. Most of the stores you shop in are in a strip mall. Ladies! You cannot shop at Rainbow

and CitiTrendz for your clothes! Seriously, if you go to Macy’s, Marshall’s, TJ Maxx, Ross,

you can find designer brand names for less everyday! These clothes will fit better, last

longer and make you at least LOOK a little more respectable.

4. You’ve never graduated from high school. Now, we have a serious problem. How will

you ever make a living without education? It’s impossible! We are in a recession. THE

COME UP IS OVER! And CHI and ITT TECH are not cutting it either! You have to step it

up and stay in school!

3. You’re trying to get pregnant by a baller. Stop frontin’, we know you are. But listen,

this doesn’t always work like you want it to work. And if you DO manage to snag one,

YOU WON’T BE THE ONLY ONE. Poor doesn’t only mean money, it means happiness,

peace and self esteem. And karma is a b#*ch. Sometimes what you do wrong affects your

children.

2. You’re more concerned about the fast cash. You need to have a plan! Everyday I’m

Hustling is just a song. Stop watching these videos thinking that it can be you. That’s

just entertainment! Most rappers are broke, most drug dealers don’t get off the corner

and most girls on welfare stay on it forever. Write down a five year plan and tape it to

the frig. EXECUTE THE PLAN!

1. STOP BEING A CRAB IN THE BARREL! We as a people have a tendency of pulling each

other down, complaining about wrongdoings, but never doing anything about it. If you

talk about someone else today, while you’re in your apartment, smoking a blunt with

a neck tattoo waiting for that baller to stop by and your name is Chanekashay…..you

have to stop NOW. IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND!

TATA FOR NOW, JAZZMINE!

Written By Jazzmine

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So you FINALLY got the guy!!! Good for you! But are you going to keep him? Lets hope

so. Maybe I can help. So without further ado, here are my Top 10 Dumb Things Women

do (That Ruin it For the Rest of Us)

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1. “I had a dream about you” and other made up stories

Oh, ladies. Nobody’s falling for this. Even if you did dream about the guy, calling/text-

ing/emailing him with that as your opening line just screams ‘I’m dying to talk to you

but couldn’t come up with a reason to call’; which just screams ‘I’m insecure’, which is

so not hot. You notice that men don’t do this, right? If they want to talk to you, they

just hit you up and say ‘hey’. They don’t lose sleep coming up with a reason and neither

should you.

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2. Clinging to the notion that ‘actions speak louder than words’.

While in almost all cases this is a true statement, there is one glaring exception – when

a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship. Telling a woman that at the beginning

is a man’s way of giving himself a permanent cheating pass. So it doesn’t matter that

after he said that he started sleeping at your house every night, driving your car, took

you to meet his mother, gave you his banking information, or moved into your house;

if he told you at the beginning he didn’t want a relationship, don’t assume he has chan-

ged his mind. All he is doing is taking advantage of your stupidity good nature and

accepting the goods you shouldn’t be offering him. The only time you should ever be-

lieve that a man has changed his mind about not wanting a relationship is when he

says “I’ve changed my mind. I do want a relationship”.

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3. Snooping the wrong way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah snooping is always wrong, but sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a

girl’s gotta do. Most girls (me included) have snooped or will snoop at one point in

their lives. But what dumb girls do is then call their man on what they find and

expect him to be all contrite and apologetic. Doesn’t work that way, darling. Once

you admit that you went through his stuff, you are now in the wrong and please

believe me any smart man will cling to that fact and turn things around until

you’re the one apologizing. If you’re gonna snoop, either keep what you find out

to yourself or find a way to trick him into confessing it.

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4. Not starting as you mean to go on

Everyone knows that there is a honeymoon phase to new relationships in which

everyone is on their best behavior; but there is a difference between letting your

guard down and doing a Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde. If you try to go from being the cool

laid-back girl that did her own thing and let her man do his to the clingy psycho

b*tch from hell; don’t be surprised when your man goes from Mr. Attentive to

Mr. Absent just that quick.

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5. Saying you’re cool when you’re not

Similar to #4, ladies, you need to learn to be honest about your stuff. If you meet

a man and he tells you he has a lot of female friends, you can’t say you’re cool

with that and then start freaking out and getting jealous every time you see him

with a woman. If you say you don’t mind a man with children, please do not throw

a temper tantrum if he can’t see you on the weekend because he’s spending time

with his child. If he says he wants to keep seeing you but also see other people,

don’t say it’s cool and then freak out because he’s seeing other people. This is so

obvious to me that I can’t even believe someone needs to point it out, but it’s clear

that someone does.

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6. Blaming the other woman

I cannot be the first one to speak on this topic but it needs to be repeated until you

get it. If your man cheats on you, please do not a) call up the girl and curse her b)

call her outta her name on Facebook c) try to fight her d) call her names or other-

wise blame her. Especially if you are still with this cheating man. I shouldn’t

have to tell you this, but that girl doesn’t know you and doesn’t owe you any debt

of loyalty so please visit your frustrations on the source – your man.  The except-

ion to this is of course if he cheated with your friend/relative. In which case you

have my permission to cut a b*tch.

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7. Sending your coochie through the mail

Girls do you know what happens when you send a man a naked picture of yourself

or make a sex tape with him? HE SHOWS IT TO HIS FRIENDS – including his fe-

male friends. So unless you’re okay with your man’s entire social circle seeing your

“downthere”, please don’t. And that oh-so-hot video that you made with him when

things were good? Check for it online after things go south.

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8. Unilateral refusals to do things

I’m the first one to encourage women to stick to their principles; but there is

such a thing as taking it too far. Contrary to what you obviously believe, you

are not the centre of the universe and your needs are not the only thing that

matters. Relationships are about compromise, and if you’re not willing to do

that you’re better off alone. Because refusing to give a man head because it’s

nasty, or watch a game with him because it’s dumb, or eat pizza for dinner be-

cause it’s greasy is a sure-fire way to make sure he’ll find some other girl to do

that stuff with. Hope those principles keep you warm at night.

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9. Talking ish about his friends.

Unless your man’s friend does something violent or disrespectful to you or your

man, please keep your opinions to yourself on this. Consider his boys like you

should consider his family – a no sh*t-talking zone. No man is going to choose

you over his boys and all you’re doing is making enemies of people whose opinions

mean more to your man that yours does. Does that seem smart to you?

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10. Waiting for the big disrespect

Ladies, you know how this goes; you first start talking to someone and he does

something that seems a little sketchy to you. But it’s early and it’s not such a huge

thing so you let it go. Then a few weeks later he does something a little worse, but

you still don’t say anything; or what you say is so meek and ineffectual it accom-

plishes nothing. A few months later he does something too big to ignore and you’re

surprised and all “I just can’t believe he would do this to me!”  Oh you can’t? Then

you’re stupid. Because all those little things that you let slide at the beginning

were tests that you failed. Now he knows you’re too dumb nice to call him on his

crappy behavior so he’s just gonna keep doing it – but now you’ve invested too

much time/energy to just drop him flat out so you try to reform him. This is dumb

and it doesn’t work. So stop it.

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Honorable Mentions:

11. Life is not a movie – we all loved the scene in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere

climbed up Julia Roberts’s balcony. Sooo romantic, right? Get over it ladies – it’s

not gonna happen in real life and if you think your man doesn’t love you because

he doesn’t do exactly that, you’re probably too stupid to have him in the first place.

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12. Taking the advice of your single friends – your friends do not always have your

back. You need to get that. For every genuine, supportive girlfriend you have, you

probably have at least 3 that are jealous of you and want to see you miserable. Not

sure who is who? Then think long and hard before you listen to the friend that tells

you ‘dump him girl’ every time he does something wrong.

So, take what you want from today’s post.

TATA for now!

JAZZMINE

Written By Jazzmine

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This week we are going to try to break the stereotypes about Black Women. Why?

BECAUSE WE SHOULD NOT BE STEREOTYPED!!!

But we have to start with us. You cannot blame anyone else because he chose a white

girl. You can only blame yourself when being followed around a store. It is your fault

when your child does not do well in an all white school. STOP BLAMING THE MAN!

We give society many reasons to stereotype. AND HERE THEY ARE:

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10. Black women are always saying they can do for themselves. Ok, then why are you

in public housing, getting food stamps, WIC and Medicaid?

9. Black women are always cursing someone out! Be civilized! If you need to check

someone, use proper English while you whisper in the threat in their ear. Do not let

others see you lashing out.

8. Black women always wear outlandish clothes. You do not need turquoise spandex

on at the club to make a statement unless the statement is ‘The Big Girl Store sold

it so I can wear it!”

7. Black women always drag their baby daddy to child support court. Why? So that

you can have more money to spend at the bar? Why did you have a baby with a man

that you have to force money from? Come on, ladies. It’s YOUR FAULT THAT YOU

DIDN’T USE BIRTH CONTROL! And heaven help those of you with more than one

baby by a loser.

6. Black women love bad boys. Ummmm, yeah, did you know that there are bad boys

with jobs? Real bad boys hold it down at home…NOT OUT THE COUNTY! Leave the

ex cons alone until they realize that they can do more with themselves than commit

crime.

5. Black women always have low paying jobs. You bring this on yourself. When you’re

18, the world is yours. You can be whatever you want to be. Reach high…then reach

higher. If Romney gets to be president, you’re gonna be S.O.L.

4. Black women send their children to poor schools. Why? Do you not know that good

schools have financial aid? That the next county over actually allows for your child

to enroll? Nine times out of ten our children will be working for or beside mostly white

counterparts. Acclimate them to society before they get out of school

3. Black women always feed their children from a can. Again, WHY? Do you want Bey

Bey to have high blood pressure, diabetes, gout, liver disease and obesity problems?

Feed them fresh fruits and vegetables. Feed them foods with ingredients that you can

pronounce. They don’t need koolaid! Give them water. They will drink it if they’re

thirsty enough.

2. Black women let their children watch too much television. Uhhh, cartoons aren’t

babysitters. Give them books, blocks, crayons and coloring books. Stimulate other

parts of their mind so that they can be all that they can be. What did you have all

those kids for? A bigger welfare check?

AND NUMBER ONE

1. Black women sleep around too much. If he isn’t husband material, why are you

giving your essence away? Aren’t you worth more than a #3 from McDonalds? Stop

it right now. If he doesn’t respect you enough to take care of you, to show you off, to

pamper you….HE GOTTA GO!

TATA FOR NOW,

JAZZMINE

Written By Jazzmine

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